Could it be so simple?

My husband loves that song by Alicia Keys, "So Simple" - he loves the lyrics, loves the way the sampler messes with her voice and makes her sound like the sexiest chipmunk alive.

The song asks a valid question about love: "Could it be so simple?" I often ask my audiences if they have ever been in love - to please raise a hand. Of course everyone snickers and sheepishly raises a hand. We have all experienced the joy, the pain, the euphoria, and the unending cycle of emotions that come from being in love. I then ask if anyone has ever tried to "control" or "manage" that emotion - of course, we know it is impossible to control such an intense emotion. It follows then, that we should not even try - but place the focus of our energies on what to do about how we feel.

This is so true for the emotion of anger as well - but today's blog is actually about LOVE, not anger.
If you'd like to read more about anger, visit my other blog: http://angersolution.blogspot.com, or http://myemotionalbrassring.blogspot.com, written by my colleague, Tom Caswell.

I don't want to write anything sappy about love, but the truth is - it is just as impossible to control or manage as is anger. When you fall in love with someone - really fall in love with someone, it JUST IS what it is. You can't change it - you can't stop it. What you can do though, is decide what to do about it.

Perhaps in your own life, you have experienced loving someone who did not reciprocate those feelings. While the love in your heart did not go away simply according to your will, you had to make a choice about how you were going to proceed from the point of understanding that you would never be with that one you loved.

There are many cases in which people have fallen in love, and have never let their feelings be known - because of fear of rejection, insecurity, or poor self-esteem. There are others in which people have gone up in hot air balloons to propose, hired sky writer planes to broadcast their love for all to see. In either scenario, this expression (or lack thereof) of love is a CHOICE.

In previous posts, I have declared that love is a choice. I still believe this to be true. You see, love is more than just an intangible emotion; it is also tangible ACTION. While you cannot always CHOOSE how you feel, you can certainly choose HOW to express your feelings. There are times when expressing your love is entirely inappropriate, and deciding to do the right thing is - you got it... a choice. And then there are times when saying, "I love you," or demonstrating that love through words, or touch, or a kiss, or a compassionate deed is exactly the right thing to do.

Could it be that simple? The truth is - I don't know. What I do know for certain is that when I love, I love wholeheartedly. I do not love people for what they do, but for who they are. I seek to find the good in people, and I listen to my heart before allowing logic to overtake me and balance things out. Sometimes living and loving that way creates complex situations that require careful decision making on my part, but I do know that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. That, my friends, is as simple as it gets.