Anger Solutions Boot Camp - Basic Training

Join me at Anger Solutions Boot Camp! On september 27, 2011 from 8:30am to 5:00pm at white Oaks Conference Resort and Spa in Niagara-on-the-Lake,ON. In participating in this basic training program you will learn methods to ensure positive and successful results. Please fill out the registration from above and send it with your cheque/money order or complete credit card information to:

Leverage U
73 Royal Manor Drive
St. Catharines, ON.
L2M 4L2

or fax to:

1-866-568-4694

Hope to see you there!!

The Psychology of Procrastination - Anger Solutions at Work

Anger Solutions™ at Work Column

Nobody likes to be called a slacker, but the truth is that we very often will put off until tomorrow what could have been done today. Why do we procrastinate? What can we do differently to make ourselves more proactive?

The fact is that human beings tend to put off those things to which we attach a negative emotion. For example, students will putt off doing their math or science homework because it is perceived as “too hard”. The emotion of stress may be attached to doing things that are hard; therefore, because students want to avoid stress, they will put off the homework for another time. Perhaps homeowners will avoid cutting the lawn because it “takes too much time” – in other words, they will become tired. Salespeople avoid doing cold calls because they are afraid of the rejections. Maybe a task is too monotonous (boring), or too challenging (fear of failure)… whatever the case, by identifying the emotion that we associate with any task, it becomes easier to overcome it and move on to completing the task at hand.

There is a flip side to the avoidance coin though, and it is this: human beings will also do much more to avoid pain, than we will to gain pleasure. Hence the goal in overcoming procrastination is more about making procrastination more painful than the initial painful emotion we might feel while completing a boring, hard, or time consuming task. Take for example the concept of cold calling: it is true that you may hear several rejections, but you may get some sales appointments. What is the pain associated with NOT making the calls? A guarantee of NO sales appointments whatsoever! No sales equals no commissions. No commissions means no money to finance your life.

Let’s look at homework: it is true that in putting off the homework, a student will avoid stress; however, what pain is associated with NOT doing the homework? Possible answers might include, getting an “incomplete” score on the homework, having to stay in detention to get it finished, a bad mark on a report card, a phone call to parents, low scores that might affect eligibility for college or university… and the list goes on. When we focus on the negative consequences of NOT completing a necessary chore, the potential pain will actually motivate us to get the job done.

While it sounds a little crazy or complicated, the psychology of procrastination is quite simple. So although it seems that procrastination can’t hurt that much in the short run, over time, procrastination will put you always in the position of catch-up, forever feeling as though you could have done more, and never being able to celebrate the accomplishment of completion. Procrastination will eventually damage your self esteem, as you will take on the persona of one who starts but never finishes.

Look around you at the things you procrastinate doing. With a few shifts in your perception, you will soon be motivated to not only begin, but follow through to the finish. Once you get one task completed, keep that as motivation to stay on track. Before you know it, you will have overcome the challenge of procrastination!

Julie Christiansen is an author, consultant, and speaker who specializes in creating positive, radical, lasting change through team development, communication, anger resolution and stress management. This article is excerpted from her program “Time Management for Real People”. Visit her website www.angersolution.com .

Domestic Disputes - Anger Management or Anger Solutions?

Do you remember this story? I'll bet you don't! Everybody is caught up with Tiger Woods and his recent airing of dirty laundry - looks like he'll have to get a second line to hang it all on... But wait... this is nothing new! Check out this story from spring of '08.

Wild Wedding Celebration Winds Up Sending Couple to Jail
Tue Apr 29, 8:36 AM
This Just In from the Associated Press:PITTSBURGH -

A couple of newlyweds spent the night in jail in separate cells - she in her wedding gown - after a brawl at a local hotel, police say.

Dentist David Wielechowski, 32, of Shaler, Pa., and Christa Vattimo, 25, actually got married a month earlier in the Bahamas. But they decided to repeat their vows last Saturday at a reception for 150 guests. Police said they were checking into their room when an argument began. Wielechowski reportedly knocked Vattimo to the floor with a karate kick. But when two guests from another wedding party came to her aid, Vattimo turned on them.

The melee moved from the seventh floor to an elevator and then to the lobby, where the couple threw metal planters at two guests from the other party, causing minor injuries, police alleged.Police arrived to find the dentist lying on the lobby floor and his bride screaming, they said.

"It was pretty wild," police Sgt. Dave Syska said.Authorities charged them both with simple assault, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. The bride faces an additional count of public intoxication when they have their preliminary hearing May 7.

A district judge considered issuing a restraining order against Wielechowski, but Vattimo declined the measure.

The couple were let out of jail Sunday morning. Vattimo left with her father, still dressed in her white gown. Wielechowski left alone, sporting a swollen eye, tuxedo pants, a bloody T-shirt and one shoe.
**************************************************************************

So is this how we roll in the 21st Century? With everything we know about spousal abuse and domestic violence, I am amazed that people continue to make the same age-old mistakes, and poor choices. There's a legacy you want to leave for your grandchildren: "At our wedding reception, your grand-daddy drop kicked me to the floor... it was good times..." Seriously, do you think this couple has a chance? It is interesting that when others came to the aid of the bride, she turned on them - in effect tossing away her opportunity to get out while the getting was good. I'm thinking that both of these individuals need some serious Anger Solutions coaching, and some belief shifts about what makes a relationship healthy.

Are You in a Debt Crisis? I was too...

I want the E-BOOK (Economic Crisis)

For Email Marketing you can trust

It wasn't that long ago that my husband and I were sinking deep in debt. We owed $248,000. We were homeless. He was jobless. We had lost our house, our car, our social status, and our sense of who we were as a couple. We call those days the "Dark Ages". It was 12 years ago that our life fell apart - and we found ourselves starting over with absolutely nothing but faith, hope, and love.

Imagine yourself, a young couple still in your 20's, with three young kids to take care of, and nowhere to call your own. Imagine having no money for first and last month's rent, and no one to buy the house you can't afford to keep. Imagine wondering if you will have to sleep in the car - wait a minute... you sold that to pay down your debt. Imagine... looking around your community and wondering where would be a safe place for you and your family to stay.

Imagine applying for government assistance only to have them tell you they can't help - your mortgage payments are too high - your house is worth too much. See yourself trying to explain that the house value is dropping by the day, and you can't attract any buyers. Hear the welfare worker apologize and say she wishes she could help - here's a few hundred dollars for groceries and diapers. After that, you're on your own. Imagine not knowing where to go for help. And imagine yourself trying to keep up the pretense of "everything being okay" to the outside world, while your life is shattering into pieces around you.

This was our story. Perhaps it is your story too. Debt has a way of pushing you down, oppressing you until you feel you can't breathe. I have written an E-Book that shares our journey, and shows you how in less than 6 years, we were able to become entirely debt free so we could re-build our life.

I wrote the E-Book because I remember how lost we were. And how proud we were. We didn't want people to know what we were going through or how bad it was. We were embarrassed that we were losing everything we had worked so hard for. We were afraid of what it would mean if people found out.That fear prevented us from reaching out, asking for help, doing research, and a host of other things that could have saved us from financial ruin. I hope that by sharing our story and showing you the steps we took to save ourselves, that you will learn from our mistakes, follow the advice we share, and avoid the heartache that we experienced.

If you're in the thick of it right now, put your name on the wait list for the E-Book using the form on this page. If you need the E-Book, don't worry, it isn't going to cost you an investment of $179 like some other "get rich quick" folks will charge you. Not $99, or even $59. You will be able to get this E-Book for less than $10.

Why am I doing this? Why am I offering it for such a small investment? Because I know what it is like to have to choose between a pair of stockings and a bag of milk for the kids. I know what it is like to have to pray that money will come from somewhere, anywhere - to help you from situation to situation. I know that if you REALLY need this E-Book, it would be wrong to ask you to sacrifice $179, $99, or even $59 when you could use that for next week's groceries.

So why am I charging you anything at all? Why not just give it to you for free? Because I also know that when you pay for something, it demonstrates your need, as well as your willingness to follow through. It means you are taking ownership for your problem, AND you are showing your commitment to finding a solution. So don't worry - it is affordable, and it is filled with sound advice from one who was once buried in the trenches, and fought her way out.

Contact me today. Let me know you want a copy and I'll be sure you are at the head of the pack when the E-Book is released in about 10 days time.Your partner in creating lasting solutions,

Julie Christiansen

I want the E-BOOK (Economic Crisis)

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Anger Solutions: Dealing with Toxic Colleagues

Back in the day when I had an advice page on my website, I got this question, which is really all about resolving anger within relationships. I thought I would share the response with you, as it still applies today.

Dear Julie,I have a colleague that drives me completely crazy. He's obnoxious, arrogant but is generally a nice guy. But for some reason I can't bear the thought or sight of him. It has become clear to me that sometimes you can't help who you do or don't like, but the problem is that he is in my network as well and they all think the world of him. How can I tell him in the nicest way that I don't want to see him anymore because he just makes me angry but also make my network understand my reasoning?-Desperate

Dear Desperate,It is unfortunate that sometimes we have people in our lives that truly frustrate us to the core. First think about how much toxicity this person brings to your life overall. I have always been a strong advocate of removing toxic people from one's life, but the truth is that dis-associating yourself from toxic friends or colleagues is not always easy, nor is it always the right thing to do.

On a scale of one to ten, how toxic is he? You say that he is arrogant and obnoxious, but can also be a nice guy. That tells me that he is not always toxic, but is often unpredictable. When he's good, he's great, but when he's bad, he's horrid. If in your honest opinion, he scores a ten for toxicity, then gradually withdrawing from the relationship may be your way to go. If you choose to end the relationship, you need to let him know the truth about why you are doing so. This should be between you and your colleague; his relationship within your network is a separate issue, and should be treated as such.Second, and this is the tougher option: think about your responsibility in this relationship. Have you ever confronted your colleague when he displays rude or arrogant behaviour? Is he aware of how his behaviour affects those around him? He may be totally clueless that he is toxic, and you and others close to him aren't doing him any favours by keeping silent. The long and short of it is that no matter what, you have a responsibility to tell this person the truth about how his behaviour affects you. If you say nothing, his awareness will never increase, and he will never change. You will have done both him and yourself a disservice if you could have helped him to improve his behaviour but instead took the easy way out.

Taxes on new Anger Solutions Resources

Correction: the tax issue
One slight correction - the AS Audio Book is a CD so I must charge PST on it as well as GST. Sorry! Blame the Provincial Government...This also applies for AS4K - I must also charge PST on the CDs, but only those. This will show as a minimal charge on the invoices. Again, sorry - blame the province.Ciao for now!

New Anger Solutions Resources Available Now

Hey everyone - I'm beyond excited to announce that the CD Audio version of my book, Anger Solutions is now available! This is a 4 disc set that is a FULL - not an abridged version of the book. That means you get every chapter, word for word. Even the exercises at the end of each chapter are included. The only bit that was not included is the Appendices - that would be like reading Bible geneaology for me, and even less fun to listen to for you. However, the final CD contains two bonus tracks - the full program entitled, "Anger Solutions: Releasing Residual Anger". These tracks include a brief overview of the Anger Solutions method for resolving anger, as well as a complete exercise to help you release residual anger and to promote a return to your baseline. This product is too new for the web - I have not uploaded it to my store as yet. But you can still get copies right now, for the introductory price of only $29.99 (plus GST if applicable) and shipping. Call me toll free at 1-866-754-6169 to request a copy. Be sure to leave your name, mailing information and a phone number so we can confirm your order! Thanks :).

The second resource I am equally if not doubly excited about is our Anger Solutions for Kids (AS4K) Program. This resource is for Certified Anger Solutions Facilitators, Coaches, and Trainers ONLY! If you have not already invested in AS Training - at this time you may not have access to this material. The reason being is that we wanted to keep the price affordable, while maintaining program integrity. Therefore, there is no training outside of a 1 hour tutorial and the Facilitator's Guide - our Certified Facilitators, Coaches and Trainers already have all the basic training in AS philosophy and methodology so they can hit the ground running without additional investment in time or money for more training. Anyway - now that I have openly stated the disclaimer, here is what you get with AS4K:

1. a full colour Facilitator's Guide
2. a CD Rom Master Packet with handouts, activity sheets, power point images, and take home sheets that you can print direct from your computer or photocopier. All the craft templates are also included in this file. This disc also includes a BONUS file: AS4K Outline that you can print and distribute as part of your marketing/promotion for the program
3. an audio CD with the "What Sound is It" Activity for the Listening Skills module
4. a tutorial on how to convert YouTube video clips into WMV files so you can insert them into Power Point (yes, I teach you how to do that, too). The tutorial also has a short list of age-appropriate movie clips (with exact titles) that you can search on YouTube to demonstrate assertive, passive, and aggressive behaviours.
5. Great packaging! Jellybean colours (choose from blue, pink, orange, or green)
6. This program is licensed. Since only AS Certified professionals will be using the program, the license is non-renewable. This means, that when you renew your annual AS license, there will be no additional renewal fee for the AS4K Program.

AS4K is now available and moving fast out of the gate. All of what you see listed here for only $279 plus GST and shipping.

Again, this resource is too new for the web store, so if you'd like a copy please call the 1866 number or email me: julie AT angersolution.com.

Enjoy!